Posts Tagged With: Powerball

Public Therapy

Poverty TRAPS people mentally and geographically, BREAKS their spirit, and EATS AWAY at their soul until there is only a RESENTFUL husk left for the non-impoverished to gauge their success by. IT IS AN EXHAUSTING way to live! I know, I live in poverty and have quite a few health issues and I am also that same hypocritical ASS who has adopted the pitiful mantra… be happy, there are many in worse situations that me, be happy for all the little things. I NEED A NEW MANTRA, the “little things” in my life are not enough!

I have stated in other posts that this little ole blog is my form of therapy. Why? Why am I limited to writing and posting my thoughts, doubts, and insecurities? POVERTY! The thing is… I have insurance. My insurance even covers psychologists. Why don’t I take advantage of that? Co-pays! Living in poverty doesn’t allow for ANOTHER co-pay in addition the the ones I already have seeing a specialist for my Multiple Sclerosis, doctors for my diabetes, in addition to regular doctor visits for other issues that arise. I have to travel 70 miles each way for my MS specialist and that adds gas and usually a meal too. So, do I have the money for a psychologist, that I would most likely need to see on a regular basis? HELL NO!

I do have a friend that in addition to his friendship occasionally does something for me that gives me a little reprieve. I also have a few others friends that do understand my situation and we kind of do for each other as we are able to. That my be a simple as buying a coffee or treating a meal, and these are the “little things” that have a positive impact. These friendships are “big things” to me!

So, what “things” am I referring to as “little”? Things like not going hungry, having a roof over my head. You know… things that people that HAVE hardly think of or consider. Why am I not happy about having food? Because I can’t think of a time in recent years that I didn’t have to put something back that was already on a short list of things to pick up because I didn’t have enough. I buy stuff that helps me feel full, not things that are good and healthy. Eating healthy is something that I would enjoy as well as benefit from. The roof over my head is a great thing. It is also a thing that requires setting the thermostat cooler in the winter and warmer in the summer than most houses. So, having the simplest of basics of food and shelter are “little thing” things because they are not enjoyed, they are measured, rationed, and at times, simply done without.

Joining someone while running errands is a sad form of entertainment. If I am running errands with someone, it is because I like spending time with them, not because I like running errands. It becomes a fun “little thing” until they begin to shop and I am restricted to just looking. To be with someone that strolls through the WalMart isles and they put what they want in the buggy, or say, “I just want to try this” and never keep a running total in their head what they are spending seeds a little resentment. It is a dream of mine to go shopping for things I want versus what I need. To shop without needing to use the calculator on my phone to keep track with each penny I’m spending. Yes, even if it is as simple as shopping at WalMart for groceries… not worrying about what I am spending would be dreamy!

Payday to payday has been a lifestyle for me and way too many Americans for way too long. I did have a period in my life that the payday was certainly more than now and I did enjoy little and big things. It was not as glamorous as I may romanticize in my memories, but I do have happy memories from that time that spark flints of quick fleeting happiness… then back to reality. But the reality that I am not the only one in this situation and that there are people in worse situations just doesn’t bring comfort, it is just something else I worry about. If I worry about my situation, how can I not worry or be concerned about those in worse situations?

I seldom have money for Powerball, but I do dream of winning big like that one day! When I do buy a ticket, I wait a few days before checking the numbers because I can’t dream of winning after checking my numbers because it is only a dream to win. Why do so many poor people spend money on lotto? Usually because it feels like the only way out of their situation. IF I did ever win, I would be broke in a few years because I just know I couldn’t enjoy that much money and not share it! Being the ASS I am (tomASS actually), I am not even such an ass to not share. I have had the link to contribute to my therapy blog with a promise that once the $150 a year cost was covered, 50% of any money from this blog would be donated to charity. I’ve not received the $150 in any year yet, so no donations have been made. Also, since it seems no one else benefits from my therapeutic rants, I lose the incentive to keep writing.

So, until I am feeling so overwhelmed and feel writing about it, I guess this will be it for a while! I do miss writing about happier “little things” and hope to return to that one day! But again I post a link for anyone to send me some encouragement!  lol

Blogging is not free!  Please help cover the costs!

Once the $150 a year cost is covered – 50% of EVERY donation will be given to a charity (the charity will not be ME)!  😀

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You Won’t Win If You Don’t Play

You won’t win if you don’t play, is an expression I have heard a good bit from people that play the Lotto.  While I do admit to being an occasional Lotto player myself, I am not counting on the Lotto to fund my retirement.  But what I enjoy most most is the time between buying my tickets and checking my numbers…. until those numbers are checked…. it still could be me with the winning number combination!  This possibility of hope is founded as long as I played!

Since I have been on disability, I do not have a lot to hope for day to day other than hoping for a good day, a break from disabling Multiple Sclerosis, or do I?  I have discovered online sweepstakes.  I enter as many as I can.  There are some that require help from friends.  There was one for me to win a new shed, friends could vote that the shed we did have was original and creative – it is a 18-wheeler trailer that Dad took the wheels off of and added a storm door! lol  Instant shed.  At the end of the contest, our shed had the most votes, but we will have to see if the judges agree!  I should know soon if I won.  But like the time between buying a ticket and checking the numbers, so was the anticipation to check each day to see if my vote count had increased, had my friends and family taken the time to “help” me possibly win.

The new sweeps I am asking help with is “about.me”. It is a site that for me is like an online directory. This one site has quick links to all of the other places I “am” on the web – including this blog. It also links my facebook and twitter. As my presence online grows, I will include them on my about.me page (www.about.me/thomasjohnston).  In the about.me contest, the winner will receive a trip to New York City and be featured on a billboard in Times Square. Not since my early 1980s modeling days with Nunnery’s and Our Gang or being photographed by Barry Boyd and Tuminello’s Photography have I been a possible model on a Times Square billboard!! lol (long ago days at that).

After 24 hours in the about.me sweeps, I was in the top 10%…. then 48 hours I was in the top 5%, but now I have stalled in the top 5%.  I have 245 friends on facebook and yet when I post to go vote for me on facebook … I am lucky if 5 go to actually vote. 😦  I have received a few compliments on my writing, but to date – NO ONE has felt the need to used the paypal button to donate and encourage my efforts financially! lol  So I need to find a way to be more persuasive with my writing. I am finding it difficult to get friends to simply click one link then click vote (it does not even require anyone to enter an e-mail lol).  I have had over 8,500 people view my blog in the last year, but only 9 have been persuaded to subscribe to my blog.  So now I will ask the few that read this post to this point to maybe comment on how I may persuade friends to vote, subscribe or possibly even donate.  I NEED a NYC Times Square billboard appearance!  lol  😉

I will anxiously check each day to see how many hits I get for this post, how many votes I get in the sweeps and enjoy the moments of hope that comes with each.  Although it can be discouraging at times it is what keeps me aspiring to be more.  With feedback, help and encouragement from my readers…. I’ll find winning numbers one day!  But it can’t be said I won’t win if I don’t play – I am PLAYING!!

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Real Dreams Of A Golden Ticket

I think many kids have watched “Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory”, or for the new generation “Charlie & The Chocolate Factory”, and remember the anticipation as Charlie opened each Wonka Bar hoping to find a Golden Ticket.  Then the exhilaration when he finds it.  Most, in a story like this, cheer for the underdog.  To make this story even better, Wonka recently had a real “Golden Ticket” prize contest, making this adult feel like a kid each time I opened a Scrumdiddlyumptious Bar looking and wishing to find my own Golden Ticket.  This time the contest offered a trip around the world.

In my humble opinion – “Charlie”  is the male “Cinderella”.  Girls dream of marrying the prince and living happily ever after; whereas boys’ happily ever after dreams come much closer to that of owning a chocolate factory.  In both movies Charlie is the underdog and has as much more concern for his family’s well-being even after finding the ticket he only dreamed he could find.   As the new Golden Ticket contest was coming to an end is when I discovered it.  Still the few Scrumdiddlyumptious Bars I did eat… I opened with the naiveté, hopes and dreams of a child.

Any Wonka bar is a joy for me to eat, but the act of opening the candy for that moment even had a thrill.  The prize this time-  Trip Around the World: four destinations, three travel companions, and $12,500 to spend as you see fit.  As a grown up…. this would be my dream – free travel.  I would rather travel, with friends, than win a chocolate factory – too much work owning a factory!!  lol  If I won a prize like this, friends may even answer my calls (that is another blog lol)!!  With my MS (Multiple Sclerosis), I could possibly make that kind of trip with 3 assistants in tow.

Now that the Golden Ticket contest is over, I will join all others with high hopes of winning our society’s other golden ticket – POWERBALL or MEGAMILLIONS.  Just as I opened each Wonka Bar, I check my lotto with real hopes of a life changing experience – minus the chocolate bar.  I have often asked myself, “Do rich people ever buy Powerball tickets?”  If so, are they excited when checking the numbers like us poor folk with dreams based on the need to have more money instead of the dream to just have more money.  I relate to Charlie in that I want my Golden Ticket to help more than me… I want to also help my family.  I feel that is why these movies and the lotto appeal to people who struggle because of the dream to one day be able to relax and enjoy life instead of constant worry.  Although my family, as well as I, would rather win the Powerball!! 😉 lol

As in the movies…. we all just want a happy ending whether it is escaping reality with travel, trying to buy happiness or just being able to relax and not worry about money.  Money might not be able to buy

happiness, but not having money sure pays for a lot of worry and stress – I would like to have the opportunity to at least rent or lease some happiness!  Maybe one day I will make a movie based on me called “Thomas & the Powerball Ticket”!!

 

 

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