Posts Tagged With: Dreams

Public Therapy

Poverty TRAPS people mentally and geographically, BREAKS their spirit, and EATS AWAY at their soul until there is only a RESENTFUL husk left for the non-impoverished to gauge their success by. IT IS AN EXHAUSTING way to live! I know, I live in poverty and have quite a few health issues and I am also that same hypocritical ASS who has adopted the pitiful mantra… be happy, there are many in worse situations that me, be happy for all the little things. I NEED A NEW MANTRA, the “little things” in my life are not enough!

I have stated in other posts that this little ole blog is my form of therapy. Why? Why am I limited to writing and posting my thoughts, doubts, and insecurities? POVERTY! The thing is… I have insurance. My insurance even covers psychologists. Why don’t I take advantage of that? Co-pays! Living in poverty doesn’t allow for ANOTHER co-pay in addition the the ones I already have seeing a specialist for my Multiple Sclerosis, doctors for my diabetes, in addition to regular doctor visits for other issues that arise. I have to travel 70 miles each way for my MS specialist and that adds gas and usually a meal too. So, do I have the money for a psychologist, that I would most likely need to see on a regular basis? HELL NO!

I do have a friend that in addition to his friendship occasionally does something for me that gives me a little reprieve. I also have a few others friends that do understand my situation and we kind of do for each other as we are able to. That my be a simple as buying a coffee or treating a meal, and these are the “little things” that have a positive impact. These friendships are “big things” to me!

So, what “things” am I referring to as “little”? Things like not going hungry, having a roof over my head. You know… things that people that HAVE hardly think of or consider. Why am I not happy about having food? Because I can’t think of a time in recent years that I didn’t have to put something back that was already on a short list of things to pick up because I didn’t have enough. I buy stuff that helps me feel full, not things that are good and healthy. Eating healthy is something that I would enjoy as well as benefit from. The roof over my head is a great thing. It is also a thing that requires setting the thermostat cooler in the winter and warmer in the summer than most houses. So, having the simplest of basics of food and shelter are “little thing” things because they are not enjoyed, they are measured, rationed, and at times, simply done without.

Joining someone while running errands is a sad form of entertainment. If I am running errands with someone, it is because I like spending time with them, not because I like running errands. It becomes a fun “little thing” until they begin to shop and I am restricted to just looking. To be with someone that strolls through the WalMart isles and they put what they want in the buggy, or say, “I just want to try this” and never keep a running total in their head what they are spending seeds a little resentment. It is a dream of mine to go shopping for things I want versus what I need. To shop without needing to use the calculator on my phone to keep track with each penny I’m spending. Yes, even if it is as simple as shopping at WalMart for groceries… not worrying about what I am spending would be dreamy!

Payday to payday has been a lifestyle for me and way too many Americans for way too long. I did have a period in my life that the payday was certainly more than now and I did enjoy little and big things. It was not as glamorous as I may romanticize in my memories, but I do have happy memories from that time that spark flints of quick fleeting happiness… then back to reality. But the reality that I am not the only one in this situation and that there are people in worse situations just doesn’t bring comfort, it is just something else I worry about. If I worry about my situation, how can I not worry or be concerned about those in worse situations?

I seldom have money for Powerball, but I do dream of winning big like that one day! When I do buy a ticket, I wait a few days before checking the numbers because I can’t dream of winning after checking my numbers because it is only a dream to win. Why do so many poor people spend money on lotto? Usually because it feels like the only way out of their situation. IF I did ever win, I would be broke in a few years because I just know I couldn’t enjoy that much money and not share it! Being the ASS I am (tomASS actually), I am not even such an ass to not share. I have had the link to contribute to my therapy blog with a promise that once the $150 a year cost was covered, 50% of any money from this blog would be donated to charity. I’ve not received the $150 in any year yet, so no donations have been made. Also, since it seems no one else benefits from my therapeutic rants, I lose the incentive to keep writing.

So, until I am feeling so overwhelmed and feel writing about it, I guess this will be it for a while! I do miss writing about happier “little things” and hope to return to that one day! But again I post a link for anyone to send me some encouragement!  lol

Blogging is not free!  Please help cover the costs!

Once the $150 a year cost is covered – 50% of EVERY donation will be given to a charity (the charity will not be ME)!  😀

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Dreams Once Dreamt

How many times in life have we had BIG dreams? How many times have we believed they could be more than dreams, actually become reality? Dreams only come true in fairy Zack Kopplintales, right? Recently I have been inspired to follow my dream again by 19 year-old Zack Kopplin. He is a sophomore at Rice University and science education activist that campaigns to keep teaching of creationism out of schools, end and/or block school voucher programs and also supports separation of church and state issues.1  It all began as his senior project at Baton Rouge Magnet High School to repeal the Louisiana Science Education Act and now his team of supporters to repeal LSEA includes: 78 Nobel laureates, the over 10 million scientists that are members of American Association for the Advancement of Science, the New Orleans City Council, endorsements from the Clergy Letter Project and has laymen support from nearly 75,000 (at the time this was written) people that have signed his petition at change.org.  Let me say again he is 19! My goal at university when I was 19 only concerned  devising a class schedule that avoided early morning classes and in that I was relatively successful, obtaining a Bachelor’s degree with only one 8am class!!

When I was young, I was often told with my outgoing personality I would become a preacher or a politician. The becoming a preacher part had a path I could follow and led me to Duke University, but being a minister required more “faith” than I could muster. The path to becoming a politician required dreaming. Having lost my faith and scared to chase dreams, I took a much safer path. Now I am beginning to be inspired to try making more effort to write. Yes, I have a huge obstacle – Multiple Sclerosis. But Since I can write at my leisure and when I “feel” up to it, my MS should not be an excuse to at least make more of a commitment to TRY! A 19 year-old building a team of supporters like Zack has while based in a creationism hotbed known as Louisiana and knowing that Louisiana politicians have a history for being a haven for honorable politicians (that is intended to be sarcastic) I feel he has an even bigger obstacle than I do with MS.

Zach has appeared on Real Time with Bill Maher, Moyers and Company with Bill Moyers, MSNBC, HuffPost Live, he has presented a TEDTalks as a Zack with Bill Maherguest speaker for TEDx at LSU (video link below),  and numerous other media outlets. He also won The Troublemaker Award for 2012 (link below). On Real time with Bill Maher, Zack put Wall Street Journal editorial board member and senior economics writer Stephen Moore in his place when Moore tried to tell Zack what his generations priority should be (video link below). How Stephen Moore did not lose all of his credibility after that appearance is a wonder to me!

Like Zach has had to find his way and is still fighting his fight, I am sure his success, so far, is the result of HARD work and dedication. I need to capture at least a little creativeness, apply a little work and some effort and even I may see some results. So I hope to make more effort posting and I also support an hope that Zack can accomplish his dreams since he does have a great start! Zack’s dreams are not selfish but on his path I hope he is encouraged by the fact he is inspiring others (including me) just for trying. Best of luck Zack as you pursue your dreams!

Blogging is not free!  Please help cover the costs!

Once the $150 a year cost is covered – 50% of EVERY donation will be given to a charity (the charity will not be ME)!  😀

href=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VuEKUmnUiU”>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VuEKUmnUiU

http://www.troublemakeraward.org/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwVYT3_ewzQ

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Real Dreams Of A Golden Ticket

I think many kids have watched “Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory”, or for the new generation “Charlie & The Chocolate Factory”, and remember the anticipation as Charlie opened each Wonka Bar hoping to find a Golden Ticket.  Then the exhilaration when he finds it.  Most, in a story like this, cheer for the underdog.  To make this story even better, Wonka recently had a real “Golden Ticket” prize contest, making this adult feel like a kid each time I opened a Scrumdiddlyumptious Bar looking and wishing to find my own Golden Ticket.  This time the contest offered a trip around the world.

In my humble opinion – “Charlie”  is the male “Cinderella”.  Girls dream of marrying the prince and living happily ever after; whereas boys’ happily ever after dreams come much closer to that of owning a chocolate factory.  In both movies Charlie is the underdog and has as much more concern for his family’s well-being even after finding the ticket he only dreamed he could find.   As the new Golden Ticket contest was coming to an end is when I discovered it.  Still the few Scrumdiddlyumptious Bars I did eat… I opened with the naiveté, hopes and dreams of a child.

Any Wonka bar is a joy for me to eat, but the act of opening the candy for that moment even had a thrill.  The prize this time-  Trip Around the World: four destinations, three travel companions, and $12,500 to spend as you see fit.  As a grown up…. this would be my dream – free travel.  I would rather travel, with friends, than win a chocolate factory – too much work owning a factory!!  lol  If I won a prize like this, friends may even answer my calls (that is another blog lol)!!  With my MS (Multiple Sclerosis), I could possibly make that kind of trip with 3 assistants in tow.

Now that the Golden Ticket contest is over, I will join all others with high hopes of winning our society’s other golden ticket – POWERBALL or MEGAMILLIONS.  Just as I opened each Wonka Bar, I check my lotto with real hopes of a life changing experience – minus the chocolate bar.  I have often asked myself, “Do rich people ever buy Powerball tickets?”  If so, are they excited when checking the numbers like us poor folk with dreams based on the need to have more money instead of the dream to just have more money.  I relate to Charlie in that I want my Golden Ticket to help more than me… I want to also help my family.  I feel that is why these movies and the lotto appeal to people who struggle because of the dream to one day be able to relax and enjoy life instead of constant worry.  Although my family, as well as I, would rather win the Powerball!! 😉 lol

As in the movies…. we all just want a happy ending whether it is escaping reality with travel, trying to buy happiness or just being able to relax and not worry about money.  Money might not be able to buy

happiness, but not having money sure pays for a lot of worry and stress – I would like to have the opportunity to at least rent or lease some happiness!  Maybe one day I will make a movie based on me called “Thomas & the Powerball Ticket”!!

 

 

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