Many people are familiar with road rage. I have long said – If you do not have road rage, then you are one of the people who cause road rage! When us road ragers are off of the road, we still have a lot of rage in our lives. Now I do not have a car to drive…. I have no way to expel the rage! It is growing in me like a tumor! Although I have an upper and lower scope scheduled later this month, it will not find this tumor! But I have found the way I can give it some chemo or at least radiate it – distance!
I have the best friends in the world. They love me just as I am and they have even made the effort to understand me. This does not mean we agree on everything, in fact we more than often disagree. But at the root is a respect for each other. I have learned the hard way that not everyone has that respect for me; to a degree, it is only disrespect they have or show me. Respect requires listening and there are a lot of people in my life now that are not listening or even trying to listen to me.
One key factor to understanding why someone has rage is seeing “it”, “things” or “situations” from the other person’s point of view. As one of the people who is having severe rage with some people in my life now, they can only see it as I am selfish and self-centered. Aren’t we all if we can be honest with ourselves? But they do not or cannot see things from my perspective, or even listen to how they are treating me makes me feel. I think mostly because they do not care! I feel In the current “situation”, what I am doing helps them. But because I also ask something of them, they only see that. They begin a negotiation, if this then that. The answer needs to be just YES sometimes! Some things are not requests or favors, somethings are just about showing respect and/or consideration! Even when someone earns respect, no one is required to return respect!
Not getting respect is like road rage – the other person does not see it as their fault. They think it is ok to drive the speed limit or less in the far left lane (also known as the fast lane!). They are not breaking a law. It is a courtesy for slower traffic to keep in the right lanes on an interstate but not a law. Doing something for someone shows them respect and as a courtesy it is good to show them respect back, but it is not a rule of life for all. For some of us it is something we at least try to do!
There is too much of the acceptance of the attitude of demanding respect and not enough of the giving of respect. But there are poor slobs like me that feel or think we are showing respect and helping others, but do not seem to get any “earned” or reciprocated respect when we do give respect. Eventually we reach a breaking point but this breaking point is usually at a point of rage before it gets expressed. I recently asked for consideration to help me and my requested became a negotiation – this only angered me more. The next day another request and a flat out no! I now chose to be selfish and take care of myself – few where I am seem to care. So the treatment is now going to be DISTANCE.
My computer crashed, if you enjoy my blog and would like to contribute for a replacement computer, I would appreciate it! 😉
Thomas Johnston 