Posts Tagged With: Music

Finding THAT Connection

Sometimes most all of us would benefit from a good whack in the head to be reminded that we need more perspective in our lives! Lazaro 8The whack that just caught me upside my head was Lazaro Arbos and his American Idol audition. Lazaro, a 21 year-old ice cream scooper from Florida, has had a stutter since age 6 that has deeply impacted his life. I cannot imagine the courage it took for this brave young man, with a pretty severe stutter, to sit in front of television cameras and share his story. By the end of the audition he had tears of joy dripping from his chin – and so did I.

What an indomitable spirit he must have! His family immigrated to Florida from Cuba when he was 10 years-old Lazaro 16and his parents still speak Spanish. This would make me guess that he learned English well after the stuttering began and is now bilingual. Reared all of my live in the United States, at 40 I immigrated to Colombia, South America, and have had GREAT difficulty learning the local language of Spanish and I do not have a stutter to overcome. This young man has whacked me in the head reminding me I have to stop making excuses and learn Spanish or this inspirational moment will have been wasted.

At one point he says – things that “normal” people would think are so easy becomes so hard for him. I do not doubt that a lot of things are more Lazaro 7difficult for him, but I hope he misspoke using the term “normal” people in a way that could exclude him from being “normal”. My brief moment of sympathy was quickly followed by shock. This guy that just inspired not only me but thousands, does he feel he is not “normal”? Watching it the first time, I just wanted to give him a big hug. Watching it again, I wanted to shake him and say, “NEVER feel you are not ‘normal’!” But the confidence, courage, strength and intelligence he must posses to be bilingual while having a stutter and giving such a heartfelt performance convinces me, and I hope, he just misspoke.

I am such an easy target for a story like his because I have a real empathy for his situation. I had hearing difficulties as a lazaro 14child and out of a necessity created my own language. It was actually the official language of the little world I lived in – within my own little head. Lazaro’s mother Gisela says she often had to speak for him. My little world also had a translator, my older sister Darlene. People would listen to me jabber on and on (one thing that has not changed about me), not understanding a word, then ask Darlene, “What did he say?” Then she would relay my message perfectly in English. She was really the only one that truly understood me, having to also translate for Mom and Dad at times! At age five, I began to learn to speak English, the language of the people in my new world. I no longer had to live in my isolated world and began to FEEL more and more connected to this much bigger world outside my little head.

My translator Darlene & Me

My translator Darlene & Me

Acting as my translator, Darlene and I built a unique bond. Now we are adults, we often argue and fight. In thinking about this I have come to a realization why – I struggle wanting her to understand me to help translate who I am to a part of the world that does not understand me – my family! Our rifts are about religion, politics, as well as lifestyle. While she and my family remain very religious, conservative, and content; I, on the other hand lost my religion, tend to be liberal (I really think I am what they now call a Progressive), I am openly gay and live what I have convinced myself is an adventurous life given the constraints of a life dealing with limitations because of Multiple Sclerosis. So I try and hope for her to understand me so that she can translate so I can feel a connection with my family again. We do make real effort, but for now… I am still jabbering on and on in my own language and feel I NEED that ONE person that understands me to help the world (outside of my little head) understand me!

Seeing this video surprised me because I felt I was witnessing Lazaro’s moment, the moment he found “MUSIC” was his translator and people beyond his Lazarofamily could understand and connect with the world he has been isolated in for so long.  He found his Darlene!  I think he FEELS he has connected; others see, feel, and understand his world a little more. Not only is music his translator – he sees that it is an APPRECIATED talent. He has found some of the respect he has craved and deserves.  Feeling this connection has to be incredible! He has been actualized as a member of the bigger world. The talent that until now has been comfort in his isolated world can now be shared – WORLD, MEET LAZARO!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/01/18/american-idol-lazaro-arbo-stutter-video_n_2501225.html?ncid=webmail19

Advertisements
Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My Only Successful Relationship Is With A Rock Band!!

To date… I have only had one successful relationship in my life and that has been with Maroon 5.  As relationships have come and gone (or been absent) in my life, Maroon 5 was singing just what I was feeling.  From their first hit Harder To Breathe to the most recent Give A Little More, each single released by Maroon 5 matched what was going going through in my life at that time.

Now I will break the relationship down:

Harder To Breathe

When I first heard Harder To Breathe in late 2002, I was asking myself, “Is there anyone out there?”  I loved the music but it did hurt that lead singer Adam Levine also took my breath making it even harder for me to breathe!  So now my relationship with Maroon 5 had begun!

This Love

Next came This Love.  At the time, I was paying the price of loving someone unworthy of my love and it was taking its toll on me.  This is a pattern for me – loving people unworthy of my love.  Maroon 5 was proving worthy!  But this was still a début album – could it last?

Sunday Morning

I met someone late 2004 and all of 2005 and 2006, Sunday Morning had a real connection for me with lyrics like, “Steal some covers share some skin” and “That may be all I need, In darkness she (for me HE lol) is all I see, Come and rest your bones with me, Driving slow on Sunday morning And I never want to leave”.  I was in love!  I had found the person who I wanted them to “Come and rest your bones with me”

Makes Me Wonder

Late 2006 Maroon 5 released Makes Me Wonder.  So in January 2007 all I could say about my love was, “… it really makes me wonder If I ever gave a fuck about you”.  I was heart-broken! “I wake up with blood-shot eyes, Struggled to memorize, The way it felt between your thighs, Pleasure that made you cry, Feels so good to be bad, Not worth the aftermath, after that, After that, Try to get you back” were the lyrics that had replaced Sunday Morning.  All I could tell him is , “….I don’t believe in you anymore”.

Wake Up Call

“I didn’t hear what you were saying. I live on raw emotion baby, I answer questions never maybe, And I’m not kind if you betray me. So who the hell are you to say we, Never would have made it babe.” are lyrics from Wake Up Call.  This song I pick parts that were for me as I mourned the loss of my love.  “Would have bled to make you happy, You didn’t need to treat me that way.”  Again, Maroon 5 was singing to me.

If I Never See Your Face Again

If I Never See Your Face Again

All American Rejects were giving Maroon 5 a little competition with Gives You Hell then even Maroon 5 stepped up and came to my rescue with If I Never See Your Face Again.  My love and I did have one more night that gave my heart hope to only be crushed again, but “Cause you keep me coming back for more, And I feel a little better than I did before, And if I never see your face again, I don’t mind, ‘Cause we gone much further than I thought we’d get tonight.”

Misery

Almost 2 years have passed and I have never had to see his face again, but now I am in Misery.  “So scared of breaking it that you won’t let it bend, And I wrote two hundred letters I will never send, Sometimes these cuts are so much deeper than they seem, You’d rather cover up, I’d rather let them be, So let me be, And I’ll set you free.” I did, I FINALLY set him free by setting myself free.  I had learned while in Colombia that there is a chance for me to be be truly loved as I deserve.

Give A Little More

Now Maroon 5 knows what I am feeling now and has taught me what to say, “I’m waiting for something, always waiting, Feeling nothing, wondering if it’ll ever change, And then I give a little more, oh babe ohhh, Give a little more, oh babe ohhh, I’m not falling in love with ya, I’m not falling in love, I’m not falling in love with ya, I’m not falling in love, ’til I get a little more from you baby ohhh, Get a little more from you baby.” Anyone wants my love now has to “GIVE A LITTLE MORE!!!

My love affair with Maroon 5 continues and is the longest lasting love I have achieved in my life!!  And short of Adam Levine coming to rescue me himself…. I expect they will nurse me through any more attempts I take with love!! I love Maroon 5!!
🙂

Categories: Life | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Blog at WordPress.com.