Posts Tagged With: Gay

Tolerance Is the Same in ANY Language

I am still so surprised to see how willing people are to wear their intolerance and hatred as a badge of honor in 2012.  They say it is their first amendment right and its free speech!  I agree!  But I also know free speech has a price!  That is right, I feel free speech is not always free.  Just as anyone has the right to say whatever they want, someone else has the right to say just the opposite and they may be able to say it louder and even have more voices joining in support.  The price that comes with the freedom of speech is to  listen or to exercise  the responsibility to know when it is just best to shut up!  Each time I write a blog, I expect opposition.  I am a realist and understand not everyone (maybe very few) will agree with me.  I am a little late to the game to discuss Kirk Cameron’s insensitive comments about gays, Rush Limbaugh’s attack on Sandra Fluke and then Patricia Heaton insulting Ms Fluke even further.  But what I have to say is timeless (and correct)!!  lol

Kirk Cameron feels he speaks for ALL Christians when he berates gays saying homosexuality is  “unnatural … I think it’s detrimental, and ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization.”  But when gays and activist for gay causes were outraged, he defend himself by saying, “”I should be able to express moral views on social issues, especially those that have been the underpinning of Western civilization for 2,000 years—without being slandered, accused of hate speech, and told from those who preach ‘tolerance’ that I need to either bend my beliefs to their moral standards or be silent when I’m in the public square,”  WHAT AN IDIOT!!  No one said he did not have the RIGHT to say what he did, people just expressed their own “moral views on social views” that opposed his.  He was not a victim… he just learned he did not speak for all Americans just the ones with his narrow opinions.

Now Rush Limbaugh on the other hand is used to controversy over things he says as a political commentator.  But I think even he was surprised at the backlash after calling Sandra Fluke a “slut” and a “prostitute” after she testified before Congress in favor of  drug coverage for contraception.  Advertisers used their freedom of speech (money) to say we do not want our product associated with your program.  But he also learned an apology is not always enough to make Americans forget.  I support his right to say what he wants just as I support the advertisers right to distance themselves from his program.  As he questions drug coverage paying for contraception for women, I question drug coverage paying for his Viagra.  Being the crazy liberal I am, I think drug coverage should cover both.

Patrica Heaton is an Actress and tried to ignite her own role as a commentator by firing off at least five mean-spirited Tweets like, “If every Tweaton sent Georgetown Gal one condom, her parents wouldn’t have to cancel basic cable, & she would never reproduce – sound good?”  Or this one,”G-Gal: you’ve given yer folks great gift for Mother’s/Father’s Day! Got up in front of whole world & said I’m having tons of sex- pay 4 it!”  That is only two of the five I read.  She later apologized.  It was easy for me to remove her ABC show “The Middle” from my dvr because if she had tweeted one hateful thing, I would accept her apology as sincere, but since she Tweeted so many, I felt she was apologizing because of the PR mess not because she truly meant it.

I am happy we live in a nation where even these three small-minded people mentioned can share their thoughts.  Just as I am happy that in America I have the freedom to write and comment on their actions from a more open-minded perspective.  Sandra Fluke was not deterred in her attempt to share her opinion even after such brutal attacks as I continue to enlighten others of the rights of gays.  I am not sure what Sandra Flukes view are regarding homosexuality, but I would sure welcome such a smart, strong, and fearless woman also defending my cause.

The fear I do have is that all of this intolerance and hatred is being understood by kids, youth, and even young adults as acceptable.  Many Americans are concerned about bullying in schools and many parents say – they did not learn to act that way at home.  I ask, or did they learn it at home?  When you make insensitive comments about immigrant’s limited language, use terms like MY country instead of OUR country, or say things like “those people” when referring to gays, black people, or disabled people; you are teaching the universal language of intolerance!  No one in the United States is even FORCED to learn and use English properly, so there should not be any fear of being FORCED to LEARN anything in America.  Like learning proper English or a foreign language – LEARNING the language of tolerance is voluntary for individuals, but necessary for society!

http://www.newser.com/story/141020/kirk-cameron-homosexuality-is-destructive.html

http://www.newser.com/story/141199/kirk-cameron-defends-his-anti-gay-comments.html

http://www.newser.com/story/141235/doc-are-we-paying-for-limbaughs-viagra.html

http://www.newser.com/story/141095/patricia-heaton-attacks-sandra-fluke-deletes-twitter.html

http://www.newser.com/story/141163/heaton-back-on-twitter-with-message-for-sandra-fluke.html

http://www.newser.com/story/141699/sandra-fluke-name-calling-wont-silence-us.html

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Atlantis Events’ Hypocrisy In The Name of $$$$$

Atlantis Events is quite hypocritical in its business practices.  They target the gay community for their business yet are unsympathetic as to consequences of choosing anti-gay destinations!  Dennis Jay Mayer and his partner of 17 years, John Robert Hart were arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure and “buggery” on the ship of an Atlantis Events gay cruise.  The part of the story that bothers me is Atlantis Events casual, dismissive attitude.   According to the president of Atlantis Events, “Many countries and municipalities that gay men visit and live in have antiquated laws on their books,” he said. “The guests’ actions were unfortunate but minor in this case and have no bearing on our overall guest experience.”  It should have a bearing on your overall guest experience asshole!  Why does Atlantis Events take gay passengers to places that have these “antiquated” laws?  Why do you take gays to anti-gay destinations?  Oh – for the $$$!!!  If Atlantis Events are going to specialize in “gay” events, then Atlantis should only dock in gay friendly destinations.  If Atlantis Events is a friend of the gay community, they should inform the countries with these “antiquated” laws on their books that they will no longer bring their passengers to these “antiquated” societies!  Or is the $$$ from the gay community all that is important to Atlantis Events?  I think I may start an events cruise specializing in travel for handicap people to places without handicap access and then with a blase’ attitude say these destinations are just that way.

Atlantis Events simply left the island without them!   Mayer and Hart say they were taunted all night long in a jail cell with no light, no water, and no toilet.  Their safety and horrid conditions were, in my opinion just part of Atlantis Events’ ” overall guest experience.”

If Atlantis Events cannot stand up to these antiquated societies on behalf of people they freely target their business to and profit from, then the gay community should make Atlantis Events and antiquated business.  If Atlantis Events and Dominica begin to miss the gay money, maybe they will wise up and update their antiquated laws and business practices!

 I suggest the gay community boycott Atlantis Events!

http://www.newser.com/story/142482/two-americans-arrested-for-gay-sex-in-caribbean.html

http://www.towleroad.com/2012/03/atlantisinterview.html

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A Prince Without a Kingdom!

As a child, I loved “Mr Roger’s Neighborhood”.  My favorite part was when he visited the “land of make-believe”.  At this very young age of watching and enjoying “Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood”, I was being sexually molested by a young man in our neighborhood and to cope – I created my own “Land of Make Believe”.  We lived on Johnston Chapel Road in a community named Johnston Chapel that was accessed by exiting at Johnston’s Station exit from the interstate.  So being a “Johnston” was key to my fantasy world and in my mind “The Johnston’s” were royalty.  My land of make-believe was based partially on reality, but much was IMAGINARY.  Initially it may have been a way to cope with the trauma in my life, but soon it became home, comfortable and real to me.  In my world…. I was royalty – I was a Prince!

Pioneer televangelist Oral Roberts’ openly gay, gay rights activist, grandson Randy Roberts Potts was interviewed in the February issue of Details magazine (link at bottom of article).  I saw so many parallels with one major exception… he was royalty on the Oral Roberts University campus or “compound” as it was called by some and it wasn’t just in his mind!  He has been able to parlay his experience into not only an inspiring story, but also a “cause”.  He is traveling the U.S. with “The Gay Agenda”, simple performance art based on the realities of typical day-to-day lives of many gay men.

Randy Roberts Potts inspires me….. but what can I do with this inspiration?  I have survived childhood sexual molestation, I live daily with Multiple Sclerosis, I write with intent to advocate for the poor / disenfranchised / marginalized in our society; but that is as far as it seems to go.  I have tried to summon support to get heard by elected officials (only to be ignored).  So what am I NOT doing to convert ALL this inspiration into action?  How do I get feet under my words?  I am inspired to do……????  What next, what do I do?  Write more about it in this blog that has not earned me 1 dime?

So this brings me to the heart of my frustration – lack of money!  Money may not be able to buy happiness… but it sure can help accomplish a lot of other good things.  I see Cadillac Escalades at churches and think…. couldn’t they have settled for a Chevy Tahoe and done more good for fellow man with the difference in money?  I do not know how to inspire without funds to do something!!  lol  I do not even have a car, but even if I have access to a car – I don’t have gas money!! lol  No wonder the rich just keep getting richer…. the poor have no money to advocate for themselves!  I get inspired, I get frustrated not being able to but that inspiration into action, I get depressed and look for inspiration and then the cycle starts all over again!

I know the problem is me!  I have been “inspired” to learn Spanish for almost 5 years now and still have a very limited knowledge of Spanish!  lol  In a post late December, I highlighted a young man, Johnny Robinson, that reached out to help another young gay man struggling.  He was inspired, took action and reached out.  His inspiring youtube video has been viewed more than 400,000 times by people all over the world.  But sadly, he reported on his facebook page recently that a young man in his own school committed suicide due to issues with being gay and bullied.  How can we (the willing to help) do more to help others?  I was proud watching Johnny’s video when he says, “I used to feel helpless.” “But then…” (he grins) “I stood up for myself”  I see confidence and sincerity.  He even goes on to offer his e-mail.  

What more can we do?  How can we help these young men and women find that even if they cannot stand up for themselves – there are some of us willing to stand WITH them?  Randy Roberts Potts is like me… a Prince without a kingdom and here is Johnny Robinson (homecoming) KING of his kingdom.  Yet there are some that will not ask us to help in spite of our offers.  The displaced gay royalty wants ALL of you to know …. you are STRONG and when you feel helpless…. there is help.  If not us – The Trevor Project (http://www.thetrevorproject.org/ or 866-488-7386).  So, how do I find MY kingdom, get past my excuses and start my own “Gay Agenda”? I start by asking for your help, asking you to let me help us all find our inner strength!

http://www.details.com/culture-trends/critical-eye/201202/preacher-oral-roberts-grandson-randy-roberts-potts-the-gay-agenda

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Sometimes We Need To HELP The Ones That NEED The Help!!!

I just finished watching the movie “The Help”.  It gives me hope that one day someone may watch a movie about how gay people are treated in these days and be appalled.  Just as there were stories in the movie of people that were strong, did good and helped change society; there were more stories of how hate made life for many more difficult, tense and in some cases intolerable.  Even as a gay person, I do not feel my road to equality is as treacherous as that of racial minorities, but none the less… I have hope for us all to see each other for what we are worth as human beings and let the hate stop ruining lives.

People of color, whether black, brown, yellow, tan, red, mulatto or even white have never had to defend HOW they became that way.  But for many gays, their stories are riddled with heartache about having to DEFEND who they are to their own families, losing friends, bullying, and even at times – sadly – violence, beatings, death or suicide.  I relish in the stories of gays that have had supportive families and friends, because although they may be more frequent… they are far from the norm.

More gays than not have tremendous baggage by the time they become adults, while some have DEEP scars.  In my case…. I carry a lot of baggage from deep scars!  I have a lot of people I care about, but less than a handful that I truly trust.  I feel undeserving of friendship, feeling I can never be as good a friend to others as I feel they are to me.  These insecurities tend to only make me suspect of people that are willing to be my friend.

The demon I wrestle with most is accountability.  I was molested as a child by someone in my neighborhood and my resentment grows stronger with age as I know this man has never really been held accountable for what he did to me.  I am told, “Thomas, you must forgive him to grow past this.”  But with no accountability…. I just can’t get past how it has so negatively affected my life.  A family member months ago berated me, called me selfish for trying to protect my mother saying, “Thomas, it is not all about YOU!”  Since when did looking out for my mother make anything about “me”?  But other family members forgive her for how she treated me, but she has not been held accountable for how she was allowed to treat me, so I just can’t get past it.

If there were a way to make these racist in “The Help” accountable for their actions, if bigots were held accountable their hatred toward gays (when someone being gay has no impact on them), if disrespect is not challenged – the world we all live in moves backwards instead of progressing.  Do you know someone that needs to be held air actions?  What is the more brave thing to do…. forgive and let the victim work it out alone OR to help hold people accountable for their injustice to others?  Our society has become too forgiving and too complacent.  I feel forgiveness without accountability is a coward’s way out.

It’s Too LATE to HELP Jamey – He Comitted Suicide because NO ONE held bullies accountable….

Jonah reached out….

John Encourages Jonah!!!

This happened November 2011…. MORE needs to be done!
http://kdaf.vid.trb.com/player/PaperVideoTest.swf

WHAT ARE YOU DOING to HELP?

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Being Cool Comes Naturally…. Just As Insecurity Does

Cool” comes so easily and naturally for some people.  I look at Adam Levine of Maroon 5 and ask myself – how “cool” can one guy be?  Enrique Iglesias may have genetically inherited his ability to ooze “cool” in multiple languages.  Making people laugh makes Wanda Sykes MUY (very) “cool” in my book.  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie even make being over 40 with kids look “cool”.  I could chill beer in the presence of this line up… but what “cool” factor do these people have in common?  Ok – other than being one sexy bunch – they support the gay community and its causes.

Adam Lavine loves and is very supportive of his gay brother Michael and is proud as a judge on “The Voice” that the show does not try to suppress contestant’s sexuality like American Idol does (remember contestants R.J. Helton, Jim Verraros, Clay Akien, Adam Lambert?).  Enrique admittedly loves his gay fans and has even serenaded a gay guy with his song “Hero” at the G-A-Y club in London.  Wanda Sykes “came out” at Las Vegas Pride to lend support to defeating Prop 8 that would recognize only marriages between 1 man and 1 woman in California.  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie gave donations of money and time to also help defeat Prop 8.

All my life I have wanted to know how it feels to be “cool”.  My idea of being “cool” would be to have  confidence, be secure about how I feel about myself while also being apathetic of others opinions.  Even as a mid 1980s runway model with a 28″ waist, I never felt confident.  I had earned a swimmers build by actually swimming, tan-lines that were the result of the sun – not a tanning bed and actually did not look bad in a swimsuit!  But still, I cried myself to sleep wishing I was not so thin…. now I cry myself to sleep wishing I was thin again!  Talk about serendipity!!  Even when I may actually have been a little cool… I did not or could not see it!  My “coolness” was blinded by my internal struggle with own identity.

The saddest thing is I could not identify my internal conflict.  Coming to terms with having been sexually molested as a child by a guy in my neighborhood created BIG TIME insecurities that I still carry today.  Not understanding how this may or may not have affected my sexuality made for a lonely time in my late teens and early twenties.  I also came to terms with “religion” as I knew it wanted nothing to do with me.  At that point in my life, I never knew any gay people, was naïve about celebrities being gay,  much less noticed straight celebrities that were “cool” and/or supportive of the gay lifestyle.  I do not think that being gay is an issue of being “cool”, but back then, to know it would not be “UNcool” to be gay would have saved a lot of dark thoughts that I had about myself.

Even in my confusing high school experience, a classmate when added to my facebook a while ago let me know he thought of me as one of the “cool” kids in high school.  When I was growing up, if I could have had the positive examples from the gay and straight communities that exist today…. I would have been “cool” or been able to see myself as having the possibility of being “cool”.  I do not hold up my “cool” line up to unreasonable standards, I can imagine at some point (or even now) they lacked confidence in themselves.  Enrique is a performer that may feel his father’s shadow over him; Wanda Sykes was once married, so she had issues with her sexuality also; Angelina Jolie is famously from a dysfunctional family… now Adam and Brad’s confidence issues are much less evident!

Adam Levine has “Moves Like Jagger”, a voice that is smooth like silk, bad boy tattoos, and looks that can kill harder than James Bond!  Adam is also my ALL-Star “COOL” guy and my straight guy crush!  Enrique will be the gay community’s “Hero”.  Wanda Sykes will tell you “I’ma Be Me”!  Brad and Angelina will wait to marry when gays have the same right.  I am 44 years old and still fight insecurities on many levels, but the key difference… I realize I am not alone…. if everyone were honest… we would admit we all have insecurities… even the people we think are “cool”. But in the mean time….some kid somewhere is seeing not only gay celebrities, but also straight celebrities stand up and say…. I am confident of who I am and not worried what others think….. and I will stand with gay friends and family… and even if these kids miss the support at home…. maybe they can find support with a growing crowd of people who love them and want them to understand no one can “BE COOL” all the time!!  Enjoy your “cool” moments!!

http://www.out.com/features/2011/08/Adam-Levine-Will-Be-Loved/index.asp?slideshow_title=Adam-Levine-Will-Be-Loved&theID=1#Top

http://www.canada.com/topics/entertainment/story.html?id=c53bc1bf-e789-4d74-a74d-7622e3d4f19c&k=18714

http://blog.zap2it.com/pop2it/2008/11/wanda-sykes-wif.html

http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive/ldn/1980/91/8091813

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Doube Début – My Celebrity Highlight 1 – Joe Jonas

This is the début of what I hope will be a frequent post  – My Celebrity Highlight!  I will highlight a celebrity, discuss why the celebrity peaks my interest and why they would be invited to my dream dinner party.  Any celebrity featured in My Celebrity Highlight should feel free to contact me and accept this as a genuine invitation to join my dream dinner party!!  lol  😉

I never got “into” the Jonas Brothers, they were just too bubble gum pop for me.  But earlier this week I saw the début video for Joe Jonas’ solo single See No More (link below) and was impressed.  Now one thing many of my celebs of the week will have in common – good looks!  Ok, most have to admit he has matured to be quite a hot young man!  But that is obvious and he does not need me to defend his hotness!   He has shed the boyish cuteness he had when performing with his brothers and starts his solo career with a new more mature and frankly manly look.

Other than his looks, why do I like him?  His new song See No More.  With lyrics like:

“It was so easy to trust you baby
Guess I was so stupid baby
I didn’t ever think that this would come
You’re runnin right to another one
You walked away from me baby
You threw it all away, so”

I connect with the lyrics of the song.  I looked a pictures of an unrequited love too long and now I don’t want to see no more!  Just like my love affair with Maroon 5 (link below), even what may be considered by some to be cheesy pop, if I relate – I am a fan!  So, since I relate to his first solo effort, it could be the beginning of a great decade for Jo and I!  I do mean relationship as in I relate to his music… not let’s get married…. although!!  lol  

Another common factor that will be found in “My Celebrity of the Week” is humor!  Someone that appears to be the type person one would would enjoy having at their hypothetical dream dinner party.  Someone that does not take themselves too seriously and can laugh – even at themselves.  Joe Jonas had me in tears laughing at his take on Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” ! (link below)  He has to be good-natured or he would have deleted the video after seeing some very mean and hurtful comments that were made about him.

As a part of the world-famous Jonas Brothers, each brother had their character to play.  Older Brother Kevin, boy-next-door; younger brother Nick, heart-throb; kind of left Joe to be the sexy one.  Well once again his good nature shined as he has endured being also called the gay one.  Being gay myself, I know how I hated being called gay, I have empathy for a straight guy having to endure the name calling.  Even if he were to be gay, who cares… he still pulls off being the sexy one!

Considering the fame he has experienced a large part of his life, he seems rather grounded when I have seen him being interviewed.  I remember Britney Spears performing at little league ball games (she grew up close to me) and I think fame “got to her”, so I think he has handled fame with class. Based on what I do know of him I respect him as a young man.  I do not profess to have any depth, culture, class or musical talent, but I do know what I like and I am wishing Mr. Joe Jonas  great success in his solo music and acting career.

https://thomasajohnston.com/2010/11/15/my-successful-relationship-this-decade/

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Spread Your Wings… Not Hate

So what if I don’t go to heaven, it will just give you more room to spread your wings since you are such an angel!  I have heard, “You can love the sinner without loving the sin.”  I am gay, so how can you love me and not love gays?  Labeling me a sinner helps me lose respect for most people simply because they are pious enough to say that like they are not sinners also… they are perfect! Like my parents, I know there are some that can’t commit to the hate because they do feel a commitment to love the person, but because of their religious convictions, they cannot truly embrace and love the person fully.  So, if they cannot truly love the person, they will fight to prove the sinner is less and deserves less from life.

New York just passed legislation that will allow gays to marry in New York.  The LGBT community had a leader in their effort – Gov. Andrew Cuomo.  Unlike President Obama, Gov. Cuomo not only courted the gay community with promises while taking their money, he took the

This is NOT who I voted for!

cause to heart and fought to deliver.  I have been a big supporter of President Obama, but his inability to lead and fight for causes he campaigned on is making me wain. Mr. Obama is not even making his Democratic base happy trying to pacify conservatives while playing golf with Boehner like he is a buddy and not the guy that has kept Obama from being the man of change he promised to be!  Why is he not leading the cause like Gov. Cuomo, fighting for real healthcare reform (Medicare for ALL or at least a government option) instead of straddling the fence?

Christians forget all about the love Christ taught and spend so much time trying to be Christian instead of Christ-like.  I am so happy to be free from religion and its archaic belief system.  Surprisingly for most, I find myself closer to God being Spiritual instead of being religious.  I lost a good friend because she felt marriage needed protection from gays joining a facebook page called “Protect Marriage”.  My heart broke, a friend felt my having the opportunity to marry in some way threatened her… in someway would affect her marriage!  She feels she needs protection?

My question is who does marriage need protection from …. Donald Trump (married 3 times I remember), Newt Gingrich (cheated on one of his 3 wives while she was being treated for cancer), Elizabeth Taylor (a total of 8 marriages to 7 different men)?  But no one takes picket signs to keep them from marrying, AGAIN!  They are adulterers, that is mentioned as being a sin in the Bible more often than being gay.  Adultery even breaks one of the Ten Commandments!  Where is the outcry for protecting marriage from adulterers?  Great Bible characters like King David were adulterers , so if there were a great Bible character that were gay, would marriage need protection? 

I know I will not be able to convince religious people to become more Spiritual than religious, but maybe I can help them see that they’re being hypocrites and are only demonstrating hatred.  If you do not support gay marriage… don’t marry a gay or go to their weddings!  There is no need for Christians to deny gays the right to be married in order to protect their own marriage.  The sad thing is their hate blinds them from logic and the meaning of living in a country with FREEDOM, not just a country where everyone is free to believe the same as them.  Please – do not use religion to justify your HATE!

I hope to hear this a lot more – Andrew Cuomo for President 2016! I wish it were possible for 2012!

http://www.newser.com/story/121931/new-york-governor-andrew-cuomo-turned-gay-marriage-into-a-personal-mission.html

http://www.newser.com/story/121945/now-making-the-rounds-cuomo-2016.html

http://www.newser.com/story/117921/bill-clinton-its-time-for-gay-marriage.html

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God Made Me Gay

Jesus Looves ALL His Children!!

At the end of May, the story of my childhood trauma was shared.  I was asked recently, “Were you born gay or did being molested at such a young age make you gay?”   This made me think: was I born this way, was I seen as gay at such a young age that this made me the target of the molester, did the molester set into motion the very act that would “change” me, or was this as many say, part of God’s plan?

I have always been a little different.  I did not enjoy sports, hunting, fishing… all the things most other “southern boys” enjoyed.  At even a young age, I enjoyed politicking – meeting people, working the room.  For me, this experience mainly came at church.  Was my friendliness an openness to giving the little old ladies a kiss an early sign of my potential gayness, or just a means to get some free gum and candy from the little old ladies?  Even for gum… it was not worth it for the other kids.

Was the secret I carried haunting me and “changing” me even at that time? Or to the theory that I was already gay,  my psyche could have already been prepping me for a life of being “different?  Were my keeping secrets, not telling anyone what was going on with me early gay defenses?  Was the fear of revealing I was molested also demonstrating my fear of being “found out” that I was gay?

My Mom Is Far From Being Proud!

Once I explained to my mother that either way…. my being gay was a result of “God”.  1 – either I was born this was as God intended or 2 – God did not prevent the molestation, thus creating my gayness at that point.  Her strong belief in God effected me in such a way that I distanced the “type” God she has so much faith in.  I cannot have such faith.  I believe in God as a creator and spiritual guide for my life, but not the God so many cling to out acceptance of a 2,000 year old book written by men.  I do not doubt that these authors and editors had the best intentions, but they were men who no better understood God then than we do today.

The Bible that so many embrace has been used as a weapon against me.  I have studied the Bible to find salvation.  But what I found is a book people cannot see for what it is…. a guide.  It is not the produce section at the market where you pick and choose what you want to take from it.  NO ONE has the ability to digest ALL of what the Bible says one must do.  One cannot condemn someone for being gay while claiming to love thy neighbor. It is a book with too many contradictions.

It Is Easier For The Gays To Love Christians - Some Are Really Cute!! 😉

Some say that what the Bible says is unchanging, but no one today stones their children for disobeying (Deuteronomy 21:18-21), accepts selling their daughters into slavery as permissible (Exodus 21: 7-8), women wearing pants is not seen as an abomination (Deuteronomy 22: 5) or even that eating shrimp is an abomination (Leviticus 11: 9-12).  But yet they hold to the Leviticus 20:13 passage that says, “If a man lies with a male as with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination; they shall be put to death, their blood is upon them.” as unchanged.

I will never really have the luxury to know the answer, because I was molested and I am gay – WHY is not important!  I spent my childhood hiding what happened and most of my adolescence and early adulthood denying who I was.  What I do understand is, as humans, we are not capable of fully understanding who God is or what He wants.  Jesus did say the greatest commandment was to love one another.  Why can’t we just do that?

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My Parents Are Fireworks

I claim to be a Firework (see I Am A Firework blog November 1, 2010), but for my parents – I am just a sparkler.  I can live with that because I know they love me.  Even though they cannot always appreciate my burst of colors, they have always acknowledge my sparkle.   I am the man I am today largely because of their support even when my extreme decisions have challenged them.  My parents a very conservative, religious, Fox News watching, Republicans and they do love their moderate, spiritual at best, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, Democratic son.

I know they have questioned how I became so different in my way of thinking.  It is because they always encouraged my sisters and me to seek answers.  My sisters, for the most part have followed the same path as our parents.  While they can accept on nothing more than faith that the decisions they make are the best decisions, I have to try to research, study, and learn to find my own answers.  We have learned out of necessity to tolerate each other’s differences despite that we no longer understand how each other thinks, feels and lives so differently. One thing we may forget is that I am standing as stubbornly on my decisions as they do theirs.  This is the example they set for me.  My Dad always repeated the saying, “You have to stand for something or you will fall for anything.”  We need to remind ourselves that we are both standing for something even if our “somethings” are completely different.  I know I often struggle to remember this.

My parents also taught us that nothing was impossible if we set our minds to it (they enjoy using clichés).  But my mind aways worked a little more diversely, so my impossibilities were even more adventurous than they would have ever imagined.  Trying to make the impossible – possible became a challenge at which I embraced and excelled.  My parents have had limited travel experiences compared to their children because when we wanted to see the world… we literally went to see the world outside of our beloved Pike county.   For me, to the point of living in another country.

We learned what it was like to have support in the decisions we made.  They sometimes knew we were not making the best decisions but knew we could even learn from mistakes.  We had support even when things were not our decision.  Few could have more family support than I did when diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS).  When I decided that Colombia was an easier climate to live with my MS, even though they may not have liked my being that far from home, they supported me knowing my health was at stake.

They may not have taught us to speak our minds as much as they set that example.  There are umpires and referees that will also testify to Dad’s speaking freely about a missed or bad call on a ball field or ball court.  Now we all feel we can speak our minds and like many politicians and activist groups, we feel only the loudest gets heard.

Land was Dad’s biggest asset and he sold (at a very reasonable price) that to my oldest sister so she could build a house and live close.  My other sister has gone above and beyond by taking care of Mom & Dad with helping cook, clean, keep up the yard and even chauffeur; will get the family house and the land on which it sets.  Someone asked, “What will you get Thomas?”  The only answer I had to give was I already got my inheritance.  I got a free spirit that feels enlightened because even when I am not a beautiful firework show, I am a fun little sparkler.

Thanks Mom & Dad – I love ya!


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I Am A Firework!!!

Katy Perry has released the video for her song Firework. I know I am 43 and a guy, but while watching – I had to wipe tears from my cheeks!! Ok… I am a gay guy, but that may be only one of the reasons I was moved by this video.  I sometimes tend to find my own meaning in songs that may not be the intent of the “artist”.  What I heard was – find that strength inside to make yourself  proud of who you are, to stand firm (even in bad situations) to make your life better.

 

Each time she asked, “Do you ever feel ____?”  I was like, “YES, I DO!!”  The song would be described as pop targeted to teenagers but it has been a long time since I was last a teenager and yet these feelings still follow and even sometimes haunt me.  In the video, the actors are all young, but for teens that may be reading this – I am sorry…. these feelings often follow you into adulthood if they are not addressed when you are young.  As an adult it is a struggle at times to find this firework inside and it is one reason I so admire many young people who OWN their inner 4th of July; because I know it had to be difficult for some!

Some people are fortunate and have a self igniting “firework” system.  Mine at times has to be choked, primed and refueled to just get it to spark.  But I have learned that even the beautiful people usually have or had their own struggles.  I feel there are few that have always had it “easy”, some are just better at hiding their pain and struggles – Good Bless Them!!  I feel a lot of us try so hard to project a perfect image that we forget…. in this crazy world – we are all in it together.

Another thing I have learned – there are a lot of people who no matter how bad they feel, how bad their situation – some have it worse.  When I wrote about health care, it was from my perspective of not having health insurance and no access to it.  I wrote with the hopes people could learn from my experience without having to be in my situation.  A junior high school friend died because he could not get insurance to help in treating his cancer. So as bad as my situation was…. even then…. he had it worse and paid a much higher price.

With all the recent bullying of kids that has led to suicide, I am saddened that people still tear others down to feel good about themselves.  Taking things out on others as a way to deal with our own problems is unacceptable!  Young or old, we need to learn to help each other more.  We need to ALL be FIREWORKS so the ones struggling know who can help.  If you have found your own fireworks, let your colors burst, offer to help others ignite their spirits!  We as humans need to this – we ALL have opportunities to be a firework.  Even if our individual firework show is small…. together we could live evry day like we OWN the 4th of July!!


 

Firework Lyrics

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting throught the wind
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep
Six feet under scream
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that tehre’s still a chance for you
Cause there’s a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on show ’em what your worth
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you’re a firework
Come on let your colors burst
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
You’re gunna leave ’em fallin’ down-own-own

You don’t have to feel like a waste of space
You’re original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow

Maybe you’re reason why all the doors are closed
So you can open one that leads you to the perfect road

Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow
And when it’s time, you’ll know

You just gotta ignite the light
And let it shine
Just own the night
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on show ’em what your worth
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you’re a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
You’re gunna leave ’em fallin’ down-own-own

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It’s always been inside of you, you, you
And now it’s time to let it through

Cause baby you’re a firework
Come on show ’em what your worth
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
As you shoot across the sky-y-y

Baby you’re a firework
Come on slet your colors burst
Make ’em go “Oh, oh, oh!”
You’re gunna leave ’em goin “Oh, oh, oh!”

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon

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